Content Warning: sexual violence and suicide.
Introduction
When people ask me how I built my coaching business, they're usually expecting some fancy strategy or complex marketing plan. But the truth? I built it by being completely clueless about "how things are supposed to be done" – and that turned out to be my greatest advantage.
The Unexpected Beginning
I never planned to become a certified business coach. I was running a successful property management business, had written some books about it, and was comfortable in my lane. Then something happened that changed everything.
"One of my girlfriends asked me to speak at a women's shelter. I said 'What do you want me to speak about? Property management?' And she said, 'No, silly. I want you to come and tell your story.'"
I refused for three weeks straight. Like many people, I was terrified of sharing my personal story. But my friend was persistent (you know the type – that annoying friend who just won't give up?). She kept saying, "You have this bubbly personality, everywhere we go people want to hug you, even people who don't know you hug you. Just come and give these women hope."
Finally, I agreed just to get her off my phone. I had no idea that decision would completely transform my life.
The Moment Everything Changed
At that women's shelter, something profound happened. A woman approached me after my talk and showed me a piece of paper.
"You see here? That's not where I was going this morning. I was gonna kill myself. This is how I was gonna do it. But I heard you speak and I wanna live. I just need you to show me how."
That was my pivotal moment. I realized this was bigger than me. Property management wasn't going to cut it anymore.
Building My Coaching Business My Way
Here's what's interesting about my journey – I did everything "wrong" by traditional business coaching standards:
- I announced what I wanted before I knew how to do it
- I decided to coach CEOs and CFOs of Fortune 500 companies
- I had no formal business coaching certification
- I just put it out there and figured it out as I went
- I was brutally honest about not knowing
- When my first potential client asked what I do, I said "I don't even know how to tell you what I do. Can I show you what I do?"
- That honesty led to a $20,000 client on the spot
- I ignored industry "rules"
- I didn't know speakers weren't supposed to get paid
- I didn't know about "pay to play"
- I didn't know about "speak to sell"
- Because I didn't know these "rules," I never followed them
The Power of Not Knowing
Here's what I've learned: not knowing the "rules" can be your superpower. When you don't know something's "impossible," you just might do it anyway.
Some of my biggest achievements came from this approach:
- Built a speaking business where I get paid while others speak for free
- Created the only program that guarantees speakers will make $150K in their first year
- Reached 200 million people impacted by 2025 (a goal I set in 2010)
My Advice for New Coaches
If you're just starting out, here are my key principles:
- Stay in Your Lane
- Do one thing well before adding more
- Give yourself grace to make mistakes
- Remember they're not mistakes – they're learning curves
- Take Action Before You're Ready
- When opportunity knocks, say yes and figure it out later
- You're always ahead of someone who's just starting
- You can help somebody right now, wherever you are
- Trust Your Instincts
- Don't try to copy others
- Be a trailblazer in your own world
- Create your own systems that work for you
The Truth About Success
Success isn't about knowing all the rules or having everything figured out. It's about being willing to take action, learn as you go, and stay true to your core values.
"There is no perfect way of doing anything. Even the millionaires and billionaires will tell you the same thing. They will tell you it wasn't an overnight success."
The most important thing? Remember that your work is bigger than you. When you focus on impact rather than perfection, everything else falls into place.
So stop waiting until you know everything. Stop trying to follow all the rules. Just start. Take action. Help people. The rest will follow.
Because sometimes, not knowing the "right way" to do things is exactly what leads you to create something extraordinary.
